Persuasions

What…

…do you buy that special someone on Valentine’s Day? If you aren’t the sort of person comfortable giving chocolate and flowers (which I hope you aren’t, you should know it’s only good to be cliched in a quirky, self-aware kind of way), it’s a rather difficult question.

Especially when that special someone is no longer your special someone; they’ve kind of ruined your life actually, and a moment’s self analysis suggests spending the evening with them is only beneficial as some kind of experiment into the sensation of the upper echelons of suffering.

It’s a tricky one!

Think about…

…running through open spaces.

I was at my parents’ house, sitting on my bed, looking out the window. It is in the countryside, the sun was shining. I saw someone running in the fields that throng our garden. It looked wonderful, so unconstrained, liberating.

I considered doing it myself until I remembered that I am so grotesquely unfit that I wouldn’t be able to go half way down the garden path before toppling sideways in a fit of the wheezes.

But I took this photo, such fun!*

*Please understand this is a Mirandareference.

Why…

…is it okay to objectify women?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-12771938

The linked article discusses harassment of women on the street, but it seems to me that the problem is far more widespread on the internet. Evidently, there is no consensus as to whether it is acceptable: many individuals are flattered by the attention, others find it abhorrent. I am inclined to lean towards the latter group.

The mass coverage of the Royal Wedding this weekend made me consider the question a little: billions had their eyes fixed upon the newly-weds (which is lovely of course, even my stony heart softened slightly when Prince William blushed after kissing Kate on the balcony of Buckingham Palace) but what struck me was how incongruous the response to the Middleton sisters was. I’m all for the gushing sentimentalism of the newspapers, I was even mildly entertained when the Facebook group ‘Kate Middleton: The First QILF’ began cropping up in my mini-feed as friends began to ‘like’ it, but, after a few curious clicks, I was disgusted by the comments I saw.

On the internet, it seems it is acceptable to declare one’s sexual desires in the most lewd and borderline aggressive way one can manage. One individual posted ‘I would destroy you’ on one of the many Facebook pages that have sprung up in Pippa Middleton’s honour since we saw her in that dress on Friday. Ten people liked it.

What if a man said that to a beautiful woman in person? Would ten people agree? What would happen then?

I think it’s something I’d find easier to overlook if I knew it was confined to a small minority of individuals lacking both tact and intelligence. But it isn’t. A close friend of mine just told a person living half-way across the world who they have never met that they were hot. Over Twitter. Obviously, if I say something I will seem like a whinging harpy. Maybe I am. If you think so, let me know so I can get over myself. But I am convinced that, as humans, we should not be conditioning each other into believing that ‘hotness’ is the most important thing. I don’t judge on appearance, although I acknowledge that it is inherent within me (and you) to do so: I know that I shouldn’t avoid someone because they don’t fulfil my ideal of beauty, nor should I place someone on a pedestal simply because their abs are defined and their face symmetrical. It’s disquieting that others seem not to agree.

I think the Jacobean belief that one’s inner beauty is reflected in one’s appearance still holds true in many ways. What a cock-up.

'In The Playroom' by Jonathan Hobin